ISOLATION: WINTER
Due to transplants or immune suppression, many patients must withdraw as nature does in wintertime to do their best healing. This can look different in each cancer journey, depending on the kind of cancer. It may involve strict isolation procedures, or a more self-guided time of recovery after the trials of treatment. I hope one or two of the resources linked below is helpful to you. If you’re looking for written reflections on this topic, you can find that here.
Treatment may be over, but the healing has just begun. Needs range from strict isolation after transplants to rehabilitation from surgery to relearning vital activities of daily living. Outsiders to this process may not understand why your sibling is not “back to normal” now that treatment is done, and why in turn you are not back to your normal availability and emotional state. The following resources are great educational tools about the recovery process:
Allow time for physical healing.
Cancer Rehabilitation
Your sibling may have lingering physical needs after cancer treatment. The link above to the American Cancer Society has a helpful article on all the ways people may need to recover from cancer. Don’t be afraid to communicate with your employer and others that you are still very much needed in this cancer journey. In fact, it may be time to send a reminder email that you are still not operating at full capacity. If you need help phrasing a reminder, click below for a template email you can customize to your situation.
Be the Match
If your sibling underwent a bone marrow transplant, they are likely enduring a lengthy season of isolation in the hospital and/or at home. The link above provides a helpful list of resources for caregivers of transplant recipients. You may find yourself needing to direct well-meaning friends and family to sites such as the one above if they are struggling to understand why they can’t send fresh flowers or visit your sibling in their home.
A mistake I made the first time my sister had cancer is thinking I would be back to my normal emotional state as soon as she was declared cancer-free. Even in the best of scenarios, this is an impossible goal. Your brain likely absorbed your sibling’s cancer as trauma, and you need time and space to integrate and heal from this difficult experience. Whether at home or with a professional, care for your mental health:
Allow time for mental healing.
In-person Counseling
If you are struggling with symptoms of anxiety, depression, or constant stress since your sibling’s cancer diagnosis, seeking a therapist may be your next right step. It’s easy to sideline your own needs while you help your sibling, but forfeiting your mental health will only hurt both of you. The above link leads to Psychology Today’s find-a-therapist tool to find counseling near you.
Virtual Counseling
Perhaps in-person therapy feels daunting, doesn’t work with your schedule, or isn’t available to you. BetterHelp is a leading virtual counseling site that can connect you with a board-certified therapist virtually. This is a great way to “try out” therapy if you’re not sure it’s right for you; you can cancel anytime.
Read your way through it
As a lifelong bookworm, I found reading cancer memoirs to be extremely therapeutic during my sister’s time of recovery from cancer. It’s heartening to hear from other people who have gone through a similar experience. While there are not many sibling-focused memoirs, cancer- or illness-related books abound. Click below to see my full list of recommendations.